Sleepless nights

    Countless nights have passed by where I couldn't put myself to sleep. Thoughts of unworthiness and regret pile up in my mind. Is it just me who suffers from this cruel process of insomnia or are there more people like me? Every day I try to accept me for who I am and every day, I end up failing. Why is it so easy for me to adore and accept others for who they are but, always put myself in jeopardy? Scientists say that the human brain is the most advanced and complex device in the universe and yet I deem it as a curse, for it always tends to remind of my painful past and my shortcomings.

    How can I find passion and my seemingly "true self" if I continue to put on a mask? It is easier for people to advise you to be yourself, little do they know how judgmental and ignorant you are to your very own self. My facade is the only way that I can survive in this cruel, ungrateful world. It is my armour that shields me from my unloving, hypocritic self.                 

The day I find my passion is the day I finally lose my mask. Until then, I have no choice but to cower behind this mask and live as per the whims of the world.